Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
