Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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