If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
im holly from the hills drunk
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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