he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Someone signed my nipple.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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