Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
