Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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