OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
