Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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