I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
