She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
