I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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