Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
