She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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