Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
