I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
