He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
