Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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