Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Banned from zoo.
Again?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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