He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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