yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize