Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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