i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
