Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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