Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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