dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
