Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize