Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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