gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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