Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I want to have your abortion
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
