Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
