I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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