IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have aggressive nipples.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
