Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
