OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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