we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize