She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
