At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
