Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
