Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
