just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
