I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
