His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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