No stitches, just platelets and will power
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
