don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
