so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
