i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
