i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize