Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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