my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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