Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
