i just google imaged poop.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
