He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
