so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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