Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Randomize
