The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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