I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize