shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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