Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
