Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
