Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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